Kathy's Small Group Discussion Topics

Annual Yokefellow Conference

2006-11-04T09:14:00.000-05:00

This past weekend, the Annual Yokefellow Prison Ministry conference was held in Lewisburg, PA at the Country Cupboard. This is an annual event that people from all over Pennsylvania and surrounding states come to share a banquet Friday night and get training Saturday.

The keynote speaker this year was Don Smarto. He did a great job.

It's so wonderful to get to meet other Yokefellow Prison Ministry volunteers, share ideas and such. It helps each voluntneer to know that they are a part of a larger picture, not alone.

Catch Up

2006-07-11T08:52:00.000-04:00

We had a good sized group of newly trained volunteers this spring (2006) so I've been sitting out most Yokefellow sessions for awhile.

It's important to let room for other people to grow and develop leadership skills, especially in a volunteer organization.

What God does with tombs.....

2006-04-30T16:02:00.000-04:00

We had a smaller group tonight... in county jails it is common to have periods of more and then less people. This can be due to sentencing schedules and state prison transfer schedules and such.

I try not to think too much about the numbers of people that show up to a Yokefellow session. It's not numbers that's important here, it's more about spending time with the inmates, showing them someone cares. By volunteers coming to prison shows them that God cares, too.

Tonight a couple of guys had some questions near the beginning of the session. One wanted to know how he could apologize to everyone he had stolen from. Another wanted to know if all sin was the same evil, or if sin had different levels of badness.

Questions don't necessarily need answers. I know that our tendency is often to answer any question asked, but in Yokefellow the important thing is discussion. A valid response to a question is to say to the group, "What do you think about this?"

Also note that these questions may have different answers for different denominations. We had good discussions with these questions.

We offered prayer, asking God to join us for the session. We sang some songs. We read a Psalm.

I asked the guys what we talked about in our previous session 3 weeks ago. They didn't remember.

Our bible reading tonight was Matthew 23:27 - about whitewashed tombs with rotting corpses inside. We talked about how much of life was a whitewash. Pretending that things were fine when they were not fine at all.

I asked the guys what they think God does with tombs. I suggested that God empties tombs - read.

Christmas in jail

2005-12-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

This session was just 3 days before Christmas. We opened the session as usual, offering prayer asking God to join the group, letting everyone introduce themselves, singing a few songs and reading a Psalm.

Then we talked about Christmas. Everyone shared some experiences from their youth. Lou told a story about the birds, a popular story that Paul Harvey tells every year around Christmas.

I said it would be difficult to be away from family and be in a small place during Christmas time. Then I reminded the group what Jesus gave up (closeness to God, vastness of space) to come to earth as a small, vulnerable baby.

I suggested that Jesus knew a lot about being away from family and going from freedom to a small, restricted place. Then men agreed.

No place to call home?

2005-12-23T18:30:00.000-05:00

We started with prayer, let everyone introduce themselves, sang some songs, and read a Psalm.

For the lesson, we read Luke 2 and Luke 9 - Luke 9:58 - and talked about how Jesus was born in a borrowed, smelly space. And later when Jesus is grown, it sounds like he has no real home either.

We talked about homelessness. We discussed what it was like to be without a home. Everyone shared their thoughts and experiences.

Then we went to John 14. "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God[a]; trust also in me. 2 In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. 3 And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.

Jesus, who came to earth in a borrowed place, makes sure we know we are wanted and will be cared for forever.

Praise God.

Worry vs. Trust

2005-11-11T07:41:00.000-05:00

Some of our long time regular attendees are moving on to state prison. The group constantly changes because of new people coming into jail and regulars moving on. Recently we've had a core group of long timers. Now a time of change is here. It means taking time to get to know new inmates, listening to their stories, considering their backgrounds and needs while preparing the lessons for the group.

Prisons have different average lengths of stays. I think this county jail has an average stay of nine months. State prisons may have average stays of several years.

We sang 5 or so songs tonight. The men enjoyed the singing quite a bit. There seems to be something therapeutic in group singing.

We read Psalm 127. It's a short Psalm, so we repeated it several times so everyone could read a verse and be involved. We talked about what the Psalm means to us. We focused in on the first 2 verses. I asked the group what project they have been involved with, without God, that turned out poorly. Many men answered "my life" or "my family".

We went to Matthew 6:19 - 35 and discussed how to involve God in our lives.

How's your Foundation?

2005-10-28T15:31:00.000-04:00

We had a large group of inmates come down for the session. I asked 4 of the men to offer prayer, asking God to join the group. Then we went around the group, each person giving their first name and saying how they were doing. We sang 4 or 5 songs.

We read Psalm 104. We discussed what the fellows thought the Psalm was about. I suggested it is about God creating and managing the earth. I asked the group to name the largest things they had ever managed or mismanaged. Many replied "My life", or "My family". I pointed out that God is able to manage the whole of creation. That brings some comfort to our worries, doesn't it?

We read the story of Samuel anointing David in 1 Samuel Chapter 16. We discussed what the story says. I suggested the story tells us that God does not necessarily judge in the same way that we do. In this case, Jesse hadn't even called David in from the fields to join the event. Let us draw comfort from the fact that even if our family rejects us, or judges us as weak or undesirable, that God can be looking for something different.

Living in the presence of Christ

2005-10-07T18:38:00.000-04:00

We had a large group of inmates attend the Yokefellow session this week. We took time to go around the circle and offer prayer, then gave first names and comments.

We sang 4 songs. Then read Psalm 37. We discussed how quickly weeds grow in the summer. We looked at how the Psalm says "Fret not" 3 times. We talked about anxiety and shared examples of what we worry about.

The lesson was about living in the presence of Christ. We read John 15: 1-8. We talked quite a bit about the fruits of our lives.

We read the story of Jesus and Thomas in John 20. I asked the group what each person would do if Jesus appeared in the room with us right now. How would they react? How would their day have been different?

Surrender 1

2005-09-22T21:23:00.000-04:00

It was good to be back in the prison. About 20 inmates came to the Yokefellow session. We prayed together then we sang together. Our focus was the topic of Surrender (or submission).

We read Psalm 81, each person reading a verse or two. We talked about the wonder of God, and the use of the phrase "the God of Jacob". How assuring that God would reference Jacob, the heel catcher, the deceiver, instead of simply saying "the God of Israel", which makes us think of the prince that has power with God. We can relate much easier to Jacob, can't we?

We visited Matthew 21:28-32 - the two sons, which happens to be bible reading for the upcoming Sunday. What we say is less important that what we actually do.

Then we discussed Submission. What does it mean to submit to God? Who or what has submitted to you?

How does a person submit to God? We shared ideas. The best idea I have for this is to practice the common christian disciplines of daily prayer, daily bible reading, weekly worship, regular giving, service and so on.

I asked the inmates to close their eyes and answer some questions if they felt comfortable. I asked how many of them were baptized. Then I asked if anyone who wasn't baptized would like to be baptized. Around 6 to 8 inmates indicated they would welcome the opportunity to get baptized. I do not know if inmates can get baptized in prison. As far as I know, protestant christian inmates usually get communion once during the week preceding Easter. It'd be good if baptism could happen and regular communion could happen in jail.

Have you ever had a friend that only called you when they were in trouble? Do we act like that to God?

Obedience

2005-08-26T08:06:00.000-04:00

Topic: Obedience
4 Yokefellow volunteers and 19 inmates gathered together to seek God this night.

We started with each person around the circle of chairs offering a prayer. We then had introductions and sang several songs. It's amazing how group singing can build a sense of community among a diverse bunch of people.

We went around the circle, each person reading a verse of Psalm 18 until we had completed the Psalm. Then we went to the Gospel texts listed here.

Bible Scriptures to consider:
Psalm 18:44 “As soon as they hear of me, they shall obey me
John 14:23-25 - "If anyone loves me…”
John 15:10 – “If you obey my commands…”
Luke 11:27-29 – “Blessed rather are those who…”
Matt. 21:27-31 – “A certain man had two sons…”

Discussion questions
Do you expect people who love you to obey you?
Do you obey people that you love?
What part does power play in obedience?
Why do you think obedience is important to God?
What commands do you think we are to obey?

Week Off - thoughts on new birth

2005-08-25T18:22:00.000-04:00

This is the week of the month that another person of the Yokefellow Prison Ministry team goes into the prison instead of us.

I heard Howard Fineman on the radio one morning this past week. He was saying how a friend of his is in Iraq and how he corresponds with him regularly. His friend says that the Iraq people have lived in a tribal society for 5000 years and not only don't they know what democracy is, they have no desire for it either. He says that if one guy builds a pipeline another guy wants to tear it up.

Hearing this made me think of Jay Winik's book "April 1865". In a TV interview he remarked that one of the amazing things about the end of the American Civil War was that the people actually stopped fighting. In some countries the civil war goes on for generations (consider Ireland).

It made me wonder if the difference might not be related to the fact that the land ownership (setting aside for this discussion the native Americans) in America was just a generation or two old. Howard Fineman's friend says that tribes in Iraq have fought for 5000 years and do not want peace. Are the scars too old? Is that a reason America was able to move forward in peace in 1865?

This then, made me think of John 3:2-4 - no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again. Hmmm. How entrenched are we in our life up to this point? How willing are we to wipe the land of our lives clean and let go of property and ownership and commit an unconditional surrender to God and live in peace? Or do we invite God into our lives and then have a 40 year civil war with Him? Maybe He builds a building in our life and as soon as He's done we tear it down.

Following Jesus is a radical change in a person's life. It means giving up ownership of one's self to a higher cause, an unseen higher power.

During the internal civil war, one may ask, "Where is this peace that Jesus spoke about, that attracted me to him so?" But in a war one side must surrender to have peace.

In Yokefellow small groups, we advance the idea that God exists and He cares about each person. Because He cares about each person we should too. Many people who come to a Yokefellow group are in a civil war inside of themselves. Perhaps they see that they need God or feel that they want to know God. But the old man is so alive and struggling. Anguish is the result. Is this rebellion something they have to live through, or could better teaching help them come through the war to surrender? I don't know. My own surrender has taken years and continues each day.

The story of the two swords - by Kathy Kolb

2005-08-16T16:21:00.000-04:00

A story I wrote and tell to show how, if we believe in something, we will act according to that belief.

Once, in a kingdom not so far away in a time that seems not so long ago, a mighty King ordered two swords to be made for him.

The blacksmith, excited to get this command from his King, readied his tools, heated the metal and began the lengthy process of making the swords.

As the blacksmith began forming the sword with his huge hammer, one of the swords spoke out, “Hey! Stop pounding on me with that hammer!” The blacksmith, shocked because a sword was speaking to him, threw the sword down on the table and said, “But the King has given me orders to make him fine swords! To make you both sharp and strong, I must hammer you many times - there is no other way to perfect your steel.”, “Then do not make me as he wants. Spare me the pain, I beg of you. Leave me be as I am.” The sword asked.

The blacksmith thought this through for awhile and saw that he could not make the sword into a quality it had no desire to be. So he gently polished the sword, shining it to a mirror finish and put it in its case, knowing it was neither strong nor sharp, but it looked good to the untrained eye.

The blacksmith spoke to the second sword as he prepared to heat it in his fiery forge, “I suppose you are going to complain too? You are made from the same metal as they other sword.” “No,” replied the second sword “I heard what you said to my brother. We are meant for the King. I believe what you say about strength only coming from the fire. Do what you must to make me perfect for the King.” And the blacksmith spent more time on the making of this sword than any other he had ever made, encouraged by the cooperation of the sword itself.

The day came when the swords, packed in identical cases, were delivered to the palace of the King. His servants brought the swords into his chamber, where the King opened the cases and examined the swords carefully, lifting each one in his hand and swinging them, checking for balance and strength. When finished he commanded of the first sword, “Take this sword to the Dining Hall and place it up on the wall as a decoration piece – it is of no use for battle, it is good only as a wall ornament.” And it was done as he commanded.

Then he grasp the second sword, the one that went through many more heatings and hammerings. A pleased look crossed his face as he lifted it high, “This is the finest sword I’ve ever held. It will be my prime battle sword, wielded in my right hand and will aid me in many battles to come."

And so it was.

Following Jesus: Slight adjustment or radical change?

2005-08-12T18:51:00.000-04:00

We started the small group session with prayer around the circle, asking God to join us. This helps get our eyes off of ourselves, and onto God. The inmate's prayers range from simple to complex. Some were beautiful.

Through the 10+ years of prison ministry it becomes obvious to me that the word of another inmate is worth much more than my words. I am a white, middle aged, middle class woman with almost nothing in common with the male inmates that we minister to. If, in the course of a session, I can facilitate an older inmate telling a younger inmate how to go straight, his words will mean much more than they would coming from me. He's walked that path and knows a lot of things I don't know.

So, the inmates opening prayers have the added benefit of showing the newcomers, right from the beginning of the session, that the inmates' are serious about this God stuff.

We then went around the circle, each person saying their first name and saying how they are doing. We had several new people join us tonight, making for a large group. This means the group leader (tonight - me) has to really stay aware of group dynamics and keep their eye open for signs someone wants to contribute something to the group (talk).

We then sang 3 songs; Amazing Grace, What a Friend we have in Jesus and Just a Closer Walk with Thee. The guys didn't want to stop singing. They went back and repeated a verse again in Just Closer Walk. I started laughing pretty hard, but I finally started playing the guitar again to the finish of the verse. We all had a good laugh about it.

We read Psalm 27 then 127, around the circle, each person reading a verse. I asked the group what we talked about last week. That helps them remember the thread and direction of the teaching. One of the questions for thinking on last week was "Is following Jesus a slight adjustment or radical change?" I asked the group that question, gave time for a good discussion, then we went to the readings for the lesson.

Matthew 18:1-9 "unless you change and become like little children"
Matthew 5:21-45 "But I say"

As the scriptures were read, we discussed what we thought they meant. Does this sound like a minor adjustment or a major change? Hmmm. The guys thought it through. Some said that for someone raised Christian in a Christian home that following Jesus was a minor change, but if a person came to Christ at an older stage, it would be a radical change. While disappointed at this answer, it told me where the some of the guys were at.

The 4 Yokefellow volunteers suggested that following Jesus is a radical change from following self. We talked about how hard is it to die to self everyday. We shared personal stories that showed the difference. One example is saying the Lord's prayer when you are mad at someone. You get to "forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us" and you see that you can't go on in the prayer without forgiving that person. Everyone. It's awesome for spouses (and families) to pray the Lord's prayer together. You can't stay mad or hold a grudge and say that prayer truthfully. It's a wonderful prayer.

Some of the guys still wanted to hold on to their anger. Some of them said people's lies had put them in jail, cost them their jobs and caused their families serious hardships.

This is serious stuff.

I asked the group what the difference is between the sun and the moon. Turns out there are a lot of differences, but finally we got to the one that I was looking for. The Sun creates light, the moon reflects the sun's light. It has no light of its own. It can only "shine" when part of it is exposed to the Sun.

We went around the group with the question: Are you more of a "Sun" or a "Moon" - do you shine of yourself or do you reflect God's love through you to others? Hmmm. Quite a good bit of discussion on this one. Since I ask the question, I'm usually the last person to answer. I'm a sun more often than I want to be.

Married to God, but dating Becky Sue

2005-08-05T16:23:00.000-04:00

We started the session a little differently tonight. I suggested that one volunteer offer prayer to God, then we went around the whole group, each person who wanted to, offering a short prayer to God, aloud, also. Many of the prayers were simply beautiful. The inmates said they liked the new opening.

We Read Pslam 150, it is short, so we had to read it several times to get all the way around the circle of people. It's praise. We're trying to remind the men how it is good to offer praise to God because he is worthy of it. It also takes our eyes off of ourselves, and that's a usually good thing.

We sang two songs. At this point we were half way thru the 90 minute session and I was getting a little impatient to get to the lesson for the evening. But the inmates wanted to sing another song. OK, another song. One guy wanted to sing for the rest of the session. Nah. But we sang the one more song.

Ok. The lesson. We asked how people's personal prayer time was going. We've been encouraging the inmates to reach for one hour of prayer a day, each day, to see it as a "God Visit". The reports weren't great. Most people have reasons why they can't give God one hour in prayer. It doesn't even have to be one hour at a time, it can be 30 mins in the morning, 30 at night, or whatever. But the guys are having real trouble setting that time aside for God. Very interesting.
I asked the guys to think about when they were in love with someone. To think about how they felt, how they always wondered what she was doing, and calling her, and being with her and so on. I referenced the Psalms, as a deer pants for water in a desert.....

Then I asked them to think about a relationship that was more of an obligation, like work, or homework. How you get up in the morning and know you have to do something for the person, but you put it off. Then lunchtime comes and you put it off more. Then dinner comes and you still haven't done the chore and then it's 10pm and you realize you didn't get it done.

After a moment to think, I asked the guys to consider, to themselves privately, which relationship more accurately describes where they are at with God currently. We gave them time to think on that.

One guys said that he feels since God is always there, he is sort of an obligation. And that sometimes he wants to stray and then return to God. Talk like this can be very insightful and can tell you where a group of people are spiritually. Listen to how the other people in the group respond when someone opens up honestly like that. Be careful not to tell the person they are wrong. It's where they are at. At least they are being honest with you. Isn't that what we want? If you shut someone down verbally, they may not open up again and certainly may not be as honest with you. And if you can't be honest with the group there is trouble. So, even if something shocks you, thank them for sharing and ask for other people to comment.

So I used an illustration. I said that some of us come to the dance with God, but want to leave with Becky Sue (a made up name). And Becky Sue is a sorry looking gal. But that's what we want to leave the dance with. Lots of people had comments on that thread.

We went to Matthew 6 (read it in NIV) (read it in The Message) and then Matthew 16 (read NIV) (read The Message). You can't serve two masters. You can't date two gods and keep them both happy. The really sad thing is, Becky Sue ain't even a god and she's ugly as sin, dirty as a sewer, personable as a pourcupine and there's no future in a relationship with her. Compared to the beauty of God, our creator, who loves us, she's a pile of dung. But that's what attracts us.

The guys didn't seem to like this message. It's amazing how we don't want to surrender our little handful of soon to die, weak, disease ridden, rotten flesh over to God in exchange for his perfect, loving, accepted, healed, eternal life. We like to stay in control. God help us.

I asked the guys if they have thought much about something we talked about several weeks ago. I had read Matthew 5:22-24 (read passage in The message). I asked the inmates what a person should do if they had negatively impacted someone in past. Like introduce them to drug abuse. The room got quiet as people were thinking. Then, several guys said that since God forgave them, that's the end of it, things are clean. I asked if we weren't to do something to offset the harm we had done in the past. As some guys argued that there's nothing they can do now, one guy got very serious and asked, "What if you sold dope to the whole village?" and he was serious. I said I didn't know.

My hope is that the inmates that come out of jail would someday be part of the solution to drug abuse in town. That not only would they stay off drugs, but would be positive influence for others too.

The camera that never got used

2005-08-02T22:17:00.000-04:00

I used this illustration during a recent Yokefellow session.

A grandmother wanted more pictures of her grandchildren as they grew up. The family wasn't taking many pictures and the pictures they did take weren't very good quality. So, at Christmas time she went to Circuit City with another family member who had experience with digital photography and knew quite a bit about cameras.

They picked out a really good Kodak digital camera with good zoom, nice LCD display and an HP color photo printer with the builtin card reader to go with the good digital camera. Christmas day, the family with the grandkids got the digital camera and printer as gifts.

The printer got hooked up within a month, but the camera remained in the box. There was some confusion about how to charge the internal battery pack. So it didn't get used. A couple of months later, a friend helped them find the charger and charge the batteries and take a couple of pictures.

But the camera still wasn't used then. Perhaps there was the thought that the battery charger cord had been lost, but it hadn't been. Somehow the family got the impression early on that the camera didn't work, or was missing a needed piece or something and the camera was not being used at all. It wasn't kept charged up and ready for use, it wasn't used.

Eventually, the family friend that knows digital cameras stopped in and checked the gear out and found that the battery pack needed replacement due to lack of use (after a year). So, she bought them a replacement battery pack, charged it up and showed them again how to use the camera. She even had the kids take some pictures and they seemed to enjoy using the camera.

But the camera remained largely unused.

One day, there was a special event taking place that the grandmother could not attend. She asked the family, "Please, take the camera, take pictures for me so I can see some of the ceremony." But the family said, "We don't know where the camera is, and it's not charged, and it needs a battery or something. Perhaps we can stop at a store and get a disposable camera if we have time, but we probably won't have time to do that and they don't take good pictures anyway."

The point is, they never accepted the gift of the camera. Sure, they had it in their home. But they never saw it as theirs. As really theirs. It never became part of their lives. An option to use. A tool to produce something worthwhile and worth sharing.

What gifts have we been given that we never really accepted?

I've been reading "The Cost of Discipleship" by Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I tried reading this book years ago (20 years ago - can it be that long ago? yes) and had trouble understanding it. Now, it's making sense. He writes about "cheap grace" vs. "costly grace". Yes. Yes. Yes.

For so long I've had the camera, but haven't appreciated it's value, purpose or presence.

Just having the camera in the house doesn't change a thing, does it?

Singing Praise to God in jail at midnight

2005-07-22T20:43:00.000-04:00

Another yokefellow volunteer leader usually goes into the prison and leads the session this week of the month, but she asked that we fill in for her this week. No problem. It does point out that it is really important to have enough volunteers to have someone at the session every week faithfully. The inmates look so forward to the sessions, it's important to be faithful. And that generally means having enough people to be able to fill in for the unexpected when it happens.

I think its great if basically the same Yokefellow volunteers can go in to a session every week, but have back ups for when they need a break or have scheduling trouble or someone gets sick, etc. That way the lessons and people have a continuity that is hard to get otherwise.

So much of the mentoring materials I've been reading lately talk about the importance of building relationships. Some schools are even having teachers spend 2 or more years with the same class as they matriculate onward through the grades because of the power of positive relationships. The Big Brothers / Big Sisters organization builds largely on the fact that one caring person can make a real difference in another person's life, simply by being there to listen and to care. The Youth and Family Institute teaches that the three As of being a mentor are to be Available, Authentic and Affirming.

Obviously, if different Yokefellow volunteers go into the prison each week, relationships are difficult if not impossible to build.

In our small group sessions, we start with a prayer, asking God to join and guide the group. Usually an inmate will offer this prayer. Then, we take the time to go around the room and have everyone, inmate and volunteer, give their first name to the group and share how they are doing. Names are so important to use when addressing other people. Having the inmates say their names every week helps us to know them as people. I also often take in a sign up sheet, where the group participants can sign their full name and write a prayer request. This sheet then comes out of the jail with me and I can use it again, through the week to remember the names of the guys that came to the session and to lift them up in prayer. This sheet can be copied and shared with the other YPM volunteers for the same reasons, and given to the Area Council leadership for record keeping (group activity tracking). So, learning names is a very do-able task that can have good rewards.

Our topics were Prayer and Praise. We'd been discussing prayer for several weeks, with me encouraging the men to spend an hour of prayer time with God each day. Sort of a "God visit". I've been getting the idea that many of the guys do not really know how to pray for this length. I've been remiss not to consider this and bring in more ideas. This week we read Psalm 111 and 112, which are praise centered Psalms. We talked about why we should offer praise to God (because he deserves it, for what he is, what he does and what he gives and does for us).

WMatthew Mathew 15, where we are to consider if we are harboring ill feelings towards anyone before approaching God. That was a good discussion area. Several men are having serious trouble forgiving people that are testifying against them.

We closed with Act 16, where Paul was in prison, singing praises at midnight.

God's invitation to us for prayer

2005-07-15T20:08:00.000-04:00

We continued our study and talk of prayer this session. After one of the inmates gave prayer to open the service, we went around the room each person giving their first name and saying a few words about how they were doing. Some mentioned items of concern on their minds. Then we sang several gospel songs; Amazing Grace, Just a Closer Walk, Mine Eyes have Seen the Glory.

We read Psalm 27, each person saying a verse. We repeated the Psalm until everyone had read a part. We shared our thoughts on what the Psalm said to us and the comfort it brings us.

Then we shared our reports on how our prayer life and time has gone this week. I've been encouraging the inmates to try to spend an hour a day (total) in prayer. Generally, the guys seem to be reporting that they have spent more time in touch with God than usual, but not close to the goal.

I've been encouraged during my prayer time to think of this group goal. I suggested they could partner or yoke up with another person on their block to help encourage each other to increase the time for prayer.

We read Mark 1:35 and Luke 5:15 - 16. Both passages report that Jesus sought personal prayer time with God, alone. Luke uses the word "often".

We are called to follow Christ. If Jesus spent time, often, alone with God, that is a strong call for us to do the same.

Discussion questions:

Is prayer important to Jesus? Why?
How can we follow Jesus in our prayer?
How much attention do we give God in prayer?

I asked the guys what other words could be used for the act of prayer? They came up with a bunch of words, including meditation. But I was looking for the word visit. Think of it. What is so very important to a person when they are in jail? A visit. A visit from someone who cares about them, who takes the time to cross town or cross the state to be with them for a while in this place.

God cares, God is present in the jail. When the inmates turns to God, for a time of prayer, why not think of it as a visit with their heavenly Father?

This week, on the outside, there is a Community Prayer service being held Sunday evening at a local church. I asked the inmates to join (in spirit) with the community during the time of the service in prayer and continue to reach for spending an hour each day with God in prayer.

Sweet Hour of Prayer

2005-07-08T16:58:00.000-04:00

We had a good group turn out tonight. Everyone introduced themselves, an inmate offered prayer and we sang several gospel songs. We read Psalm 136, where every other line is the same. Everyone said that line every time it came up. It's nice to do this sometimes. When we were done reading the Psalm together, I asked the group what they got out of the Psalm. Several guys laughed and said "His love endures forever. " which is the point of the exercise.

We talked about Prayer quite a bit. I noted that since I'd be so ill lately that my prayer life was better than it had been in a long time. Some days spending an hour in prayer. I asked if any of the guys that said they'd try to pray for an hour a day this past week had reached their goals. None had.

It's interesting to think that prison is actually a place where a lot of prayer can happen, simply because of the lack of time constraints on an inmate. If an inmate is assigned to a work detail, they may not have much free time. But some guys don't work, for various reasons, some having to do with scheduling, some health, some security. And they may have a lot of time to pray if they can discipline themselves to actually do it. I have the same trouble, thinking that I need to get such and such activities done before I can indulge in prayer. Lately, I've been rethinking this stand, and coming to see that prayer should precede other activities.

I encouraged the inmates to reconsider attempting an hour of prayer per day. I encouraged them to imagine meeting God somewhere, on a beach, in a room, across a table. And simply spending time in His presence.

I shared with the guys how sometimes when I sat on the floor and prayed, my dog came and laid down right beside me and put her head on my knee. As if she was saying, "I don't know what my lady is doing, but there is no place in the house that I would rather be."

We read Matthew 22 - the story of the King's wedding banquet for his Son, where the high society folks ignored the King's invitations and the street people got to attend the party, having cloaks given to them to make them presentable.

We discussed the story at length, who do the characters represent? Who do you seem to relate to most? Have you ever gotten an invitation and said you would go then did not? Why? How did you feel? How did you apologize? Did it leave scars in the relationship?

We talked about how God invites us to meet him in prayer and how we find other things we seem to "have" to do instead.

I do believe prayer changes things. It certainly changes me. Can you imagine the effect of 14 inmates praying an hour a day while in jail? Let it become a reality. Let us continue to encourage them to take time, while incarcerated, to reach out to God. Amen.

Dying to Self, Putting on Christ

2005-07-01T16:11:00.000-04:00

Fourteen inmates came to the session. That's enough people to split the large group into 2 smaller groups after prayer and song, but I forgot to do it. If the group gets too large, some people won't talk hardly at all. So if you have enough volunteers, and room space, it's worth considering.

An inmates offered prayer, asking God to join the group. We sang some hymns then read Psalm 69 around the room, each person taking a verse at a time.

We then read John 14 through 16, skipping around a bit. Centering on the points that have God working, showing through Jesus. Discussion question: has anyone ever looked at you and seen God working through you?

We talked about how, especially when I am ill, my husband's voice is sometimes the voice of God to me. He is the head of our household, and is God's representative to me. And at times, I am God's representative to him. May we take this charge seriously. May God work through us, like the plant through the vine. Apart from God we can do nothing.

Some folks seemed to get what I was trying to illustrate and some did not. How much will we actually suffer for God? When our spouse needs assurance or comfort, like from illness, can we stifle our own complaints enough to minister to each other for God? As his representative? I encouraged the inmates to show forth God to each other on the block this week.

Talking is one thing, action something very different. I asked the inmates if any of them would agree to pray for one hour each day in the coming week, as I intend to try to do. That started an interesting discussion. What, exactly, were we considering "prayer"? Would the time need to be spent in one full session? And so on. Pretty funny how quickly we get to specifics. Anyway, I opened it up and suggested everyone would have to decide for themselves what actually constituted an hour of prayer a day. Several guys said they would try.

There is a prayer service being planned for our community on July 17, 2005. I'm pleased that there are inmates in the county prison praying too. The guys express every week how much they worry about their families on the outside. Prayer is something for us all to do, spending time listening and talking with God.

I attended a seminar recently on "Building Godly Resilience" by Mark Basinger of Diakon (a Lutheran Social service organization). He pointed out early on that people do better when they have a sense of purpose and meaning in their lives. Certainly, inmates are limited in what they can do while serving their time. Prayer offers a specific activity that they are able to do and in fact may be better suited (time wise) than people outside of prison.

I gave the inmates an assignment - read the book of Galatians for next week.

Small Group Topic: What's Your Storm?

2005-06-23T21:22:00.000-04:00

I've been chronically ill since 1985. Sometimes the disease flares up and brings pain, fatigue, tests and pills. This week has been a tough one. I mentioned to my husband earlier this week he should be aware of the possibility of me not being available for the prison session. Turns out I was OK to go to the session, my point it, it's important to have a back up plan (to have another person fill in for a leader), and know when to use it.

I try to be very honest with the inmates, they certainly deserve that from the ministry volunteers. So, I level with them about the illness and the medicines involved. Remember, quite a few inmates are on medication, too.

We had a good opening prayer by one of the inmates, a good opening introduction from everyone, and a good couple of hymns were sung.

We read Psalm 121 around the room, several times. One inmates recited the 23 psalm from memory (an ongoing homework assignment for all people in the group), applause and cheering rewarded his success. Smiles were many.

Our lesson tonight was based on Matthew 8:23 - 26 - Jesus calms the storm. We read the passage several times, concentrating on the various parts.

Note that

Jesus was WITH the disciples and trouble still came
Some of these disciples were experienced fisherman who had seen and survived many storms
The storm is described as "Furious" and the waves "Swept Over" the boat
Jesus rebuked the disciples first (for lack of faith) Then rebuked the storm

We had around 15 minutes left. I try to focus the session at the end, so the guys are thinking on something solid when they leave.

So, I announced the main discussion questions for the evening. What is YOUR STORM now, and what action are you using in the storm to exhibit faith in Jesus? A very good discussion followed, some fellows really opened up and shared serious concerns in the their lives.

We closed with prayer.

Week Off - thoughts on voices and anger

2005-06-17T17:03:00.000-04:00

This week, we don't go into prison for the Yokefellow session. A different volunteer does.

So, I'd like to send this blog time outlining some things I have been reading about; Anger, the voices we use, and if I have time enough, poverty.

This all relates to prison ministry and to life. Inmates often have anger issues, are unaware of the voices we can use, and are sometimes affected significantly by poverty.

I've been reading a really good book on understanding poverty - titled: A Framework to understanding Poverty, by Dr. Ruby Payne. I recommend it. Check your local library for a copy, or find it on Amazon.

The author says that there are three voices that a person uses throughout their life.

Child Voice - used by a young person
parent Voice - used to train / guide / teach / discipline a young person
Adult Voice - used when grown up (mature) people talk to each other.

Consider what voice you use through out your day. Which voice do you use with your fellow workers? With your children? With your spouse? What voice does your child use with you?

Note that the voice you, as an adult, want to reach for is the Adult Voice, where both speakers are equal in the conversation and respect is exchanged.

Trouble can occur when adults use the Parent Voice on other adults. It can be demeaning. It is certainly not appropriate to use the Parent voice during a Yokefellow session. I can lead the group through readings and discussion questions. But I am not a parent to the inmates. I am a peer. This is very different. A group leader does not come into the room as a person of elevated status. A leader comes into the group as an equal. Yes, order should me maintained, discussion should be guided for the good of the group. But in an all adult small group session, the leader is not the "parent". Such a stance can negatively limit discussion and participation of the group.

Take notice this week what "voices" are being used around you.

I'm also reading an Anger Management workshop book. The author states that there are three main reasons we get angry:

Our basic needs are not being met
Our self worth is not being recognized
Our convictions are not being respected

Now, put the 2 books together. Think about your small group sessions. Are everyone's opinions respected? Is anyone being interrupted? Is anyone using the "Parent" voice?

Part of the power of small groups is the ability to get people to "open up" and talk about the big issues in their lives. These 2 books are helping me understand why sometimes a group session goes well and others not so well.

In our lives, may we also respect the voices of others, listen to their concerns and needs, and respect their convictions.

Justice and Mercy

2005-06-09T22:01:00.000-04:00

At tonight's session we talked about Justice and Mercy. We started with asking the group how they defined the words "justice" and "mercy". Generally, the group agreed that Justice meant getting what one deserves, while Mercy means getting something good one does not deserve.

I asked the group if they wanted the court to be just or merciful in their cases. Good discussion followed, as everyone could participate in the question and consider it.

I shared with the group a recent experience I had with a young nephew of mine. He got mad after getting into some river mud (we were kayaking) and started calling me names as a way to express his anger at getting muddy.

He said, among other things, that he hated me and wished I were dead and then he spit on me several times. I responded, nicely, that it was odd that he was saying these things to me just days before his birthday. I was on the riverbank, so I just hopped in the river and washed off.

I asked the group what they thought I should do with the birthday gifts I got him. It was a good discussion question, everyone seemed to have an idea and an opinion. Some guys said I should give gifts anyway, some said take the gifts back to the store, one fellow suggested showing him the gifts, THEN taking them back to the store.

Then I asked them if they had ever treated God the way that my nephew had done to me. Silence.

Note: Silence is sometimes a good thing to have, even seek, in a small discussion group. Leaders should not feel that every space in time need to be filled with talking. It's good to allow time for thinking, too.

Yes, the group agreed, they had shown God plenty of disrepect and then still wanted the gifts he has. We talked about this quite a bit. We used the text at Matthew 23:26 about justice and mercy.

The session ended, and us four Yokefellow volunteers stood around outside the prison doors discussing the session. It was a warm June evening, and it is nice to dissect sessions sometimes, in order to improve future ones.

Another volunteer suggested that we could've read the story of the prodigal son with this lesson. Yes, that would have been a better text to use.

This was actually the first in prison session for one new volunteer. We asked him if he had any questions, or if anything surprised him about the session. He asked if this was a typical session and if we thought it was good, bad or average.

His question was a good one, I wasn't ready for it. What is a good Yokefellow session? I think a good session centers on the hope of Christ, caring for ones neighbor, acceptance for all in the group and (importantly) good discussion with participation by most if not all people in the room.

Some volunteers try (maybe subconciously) to get everyone sort of "happy". I don't see that path. People in jail are working through major issues. There are times when they are going to be depressed, lonely, sad and afraid. My task is not to get them to be happy, as if not being happy is a sin.

I do like to bring forth real laughter, usually by telling a self-deprecating story about something that happened in my life.

I'm overwight. I'll often ask the guys what advice they have for me to lose weight. Oh, how the advice comes forth. Then I'll ask them what they want to change in their lives and are having trouble with. How easy it is to tell someone else how to fix their lives and problems.

Sometimes expressing our advice to someone else can be healthy if we then quickly look in the mirror and see if we need that advice ourselves.

We have next week off from prison service. I know it sounds odd, but the one week per month that we don't go in the prison is strangly missing something. The discussion group session helps keep life real somehow. It seems to help keep us grounded in what's important and what's just fluff.

Peace.

How very much God loves us

2005-06-02T21:54:00.000-04:00

This week we had 12 inmates attend the session. I brought my guitar in and we sang a couple of songs. It's still awkward getting the guitar in (without a case) through the main double doors. Maybe time will help us get the hang of doing it without hitting the guitar on the doors.

We talked about how much freedom or leeway God gives us as we grow in Christ. We are creatures of habit. It takes us awhile to understand things. It can take us years to gain insight into our loving God.

How many times do we watch our children as they grow, when we offer advice, they turn away and do their own thing, only to find they should have listened to the parent?

How much leeway do we give our kids? When are we stern? How do we think God is similar to a parent? How is he different?

We talked about some things I can't write about here.

During the session, 3 people asked specific questions. One question I dealt with, the other two I asked if the inmate would mind if I waited until the end of the session to deal with. They both said OK. I was hoping to tie in their questions to the lesson. But we got to talking and we ran out of time to address the two remaining questions. I feel bad about that.

I thought of writing each a quick note, apologizing, but didn't get around to it. I'll have to address this in the session next week. I know how down I feel if I get put off.

Interestingly enough, one question was about "What do you do when God does not seem to be working in your life?"

Can this prison ministry expand?

2005-05-26T22:25:00.000-04:00

This is our week off from the prison for May. Someone else from Yokefellow goes in tonight. We try to offer a prayer for her at the time of the session.

So, I'll write on something else I've been thinking about.

Can Yokefellow Prison ministry expand? YPM was started back in 1955 when the Dr. Elton Trueblood presented his thoughts on small groups to Federal Prison Chaplains at a seminar.

The largest groups of Yokefellows were actually not in prison at all. But the groups that remain are the Yokefellow Prison ministry groups.

Dr. Trueblood died in 1994. For years I assumed that Yokefellow Prison Ministry would slowly be less active and fade away.

But there seems to be a growth happening here in Pennsylvania. Why? Not sure, although we are blessed to have a strong board and leaders, so I'm sure that is helping.

I do know this. I've heard it time and time again. The inmates really like the Yokefellow sessions. They say that Yokefellows listen to them. There is not a set lesson or content that must be covered at a session. In fact, we often put our prepared lesson aside if the group wants to discuss some other topic that we can tie in to faith. And most topics can be tied into faith and God and Jesus.

The inmates appreciate that they aren't being simply preached to. They are engaged in the group discussion. They are a part of sessions. Their input helps decide the outcome. They are important and valued by the volunteers.

When I started in 1994, I thought I knew everything. Sigh.

Together, free and incarcerated, we reach out to God for his grace and wisdom to grasp what he wants us to see and understand. Together. It happens together.

There is an active Yokefellow Prison Ministry group in North Carolina.

Can Yokefellow spread again? I think so. I hope so. I believe there are probably other Christians out there that could mature and grow through this service ministry.

Our foundations

2005-05-19T21:14:00.000-04:00

May 19, 2005 - We had another good sized group, about 14 inmates, some new ones, mostly regular attendees.

I asked if an inmate would pray and ask God to join the group. One offered and a prayer was said.

Over the weekend I attended some seminars featuring Dr. David Anderson from the Youth and Family Institute (YFI) in Minnesota. The institute studies faith and families and creates materials to help pass the faith to family members and reach out to the community.

One of the methods they use is "Peer Ministry", where teenagers are given 12 to 13 hours of training on how to council other teenagers. This is important because teens often turn to other teens for advice about problems. so, equipping teens to give good advice makes a lot of sense. The Peer Ministry web site is at www.peerministry.org

When an inmate offers prayer, or gives advice to another inmate, that's worth much more than if I did. I'm a white, middle age, middle class women who's never smoked a joint in my life. My advice is limited. All I can hope to do is point them the way to God.

But when they council each other, it's a kind of peer ministry. And it isn't just for an hour or so a week. It's all week long. So in some ways, Yokefellow sessions help train the inmates how to minister (encourage, pray with and for, give guidance to) each other.

We went around the circle and gave our first names and said how we were doing. Then it was time to sing. For the first time ever, I brought my guitar to play. It went well. We sang Amazing Grace, Jacob's Ladder and Michael Row the Boat Ashore. I brought the guitar into the prison with out the case, so the guard could easily see there wasn't anything stuffed inside of it.

For the Psalm we read Psalm 23 several times. I encouraged the men to try to memorize the Psalm for our next session. We talked about what we think the Psalm means to us today.

Our lesson was about foundations. I shared with the group that my husband and I are in the process of hiring a carpenter to do some repairs to the house. My husband and I have talked several times in the past week, sharing ideas and concerns, making a mental list of things to get price quotes from the carpenter.

We talked about a step on the back wooden steps that needs fixed, some flooring on an outside porch that is warping and dryer vent that should be replaced.

It dawned on me today that we didn't talk about the crack in the foundation of our house. What good is repairing the outside if the inside structure is ill?

We referenced Matthew 23:27 and talked briefly about how important it is to care for the parts of us that are not seen more than the visible surface.

Preparing a place

2005-05-13T19:21:00.000-04:00

5-12-2005 "I go to prepare a place for you"

About 14 male inmates came down from the blocks for the program tonight. While it is tempting to be discouraged when a small number of people come to the session, a group can get too large to operate well as a small group. Counting the 3 volunteers, we had 17 people in the group last night. The leader should take care with a larger group, allowing each person room to talk. If a group gets too large, consider breaking it into half if possible, with each group on one side of the room, and a different volunteer leading separate discussion groups after the beginning prayer, introductions and singing.

I asked for an inmate to offer the opening prayer, one offered up a very nice prayer. In my opinion, an inmate’s prayer is much better to have start the session, than a volunteer. Remember, we are there to serve the inmates.

Then, we went around the circle, each person giving their first name and saying how they were doing. Some men were talkative, some not. This is normal.

We read Psalm 88, each person taking a verse and reading from their own bible.

We talked about how much comfort the Psalms can give us, reminding us that people have needed and called out to God in times of loneliness and trouble for thousands of years.

I then told a story. I often use stories to illustrate a bible verse or principle. It’s amazing how talkative people can be, often giving “helpful” advice, if they think we are talking about a story in our lives from today.

I told a story about a person preparing a room for a guest. Cleaning the room, buying bedding, sheets and the like. Setting everything up just so. Then the person not coming to visit. Just forgetting the whole thing. Not acknowledging the effort put in to getting the room ready for them to visit. Then I asked the guys if it reminded anyone of a bible verse. Nope. So we read John 14 - about Jesus preparing a place for us.

Do we believe this? Do we act like it is true?

We talked about how parents can make a child feel welcome or not feel welcome. We then went around the circle, sharing brief descriptions of our childhood.

Many variations were heard. It reminded me that we come from many different backgrounds. It's important not to judge people on things they had no control over (like what parents then got, and what type of family they were born into).

God welcomes us into a room in his house, based on the redeeming work of Jesus. Let us rejoice in this invitation and remember it daily.

God is in Control

2005-05-06T07:59:00.000-04:00

One of our volunteers recently attended a conference where the topic was "God is in control" so we had that as our topic for the session. To start the session I asked the inmates if one of them would like to offer prayer, asking God to join us. An inmate who recently plead guilty to his charges offered the prayer, humbling many of us with his praise to God.

We went around the circle, each giving our first name and saying a few words. One man didn't have much to say, until the man to his left nudged him and said something like, "Go ahead - tell them". He then shared that he had been transported to a large medical center and back today, getting a second opinion on a unnatural growth in his shoulder. The group welcomed his story and shared his health concerns. Although he is uncertain when the surgery will be, we all agreed to lift him up in prayer for health and strength.

We sang "Amazing Grace" and "I love to tell the story". We read Psalm 66 together. Then we started discussing the topic. I asked who people thought was in control when you go through a drive through at a fast food place. About half of the guys thought the employee was, the other half agreed with me that the customer was. It's so interesting to see how people can see things so differently. I asked how many people pray to God like they order their dinner at a drive thru. We talked about prayer and order giving and control for quite a while.

At the end of the session, we ended with the traditional Yokefellow prayer circle (cross hands, reach out to the persons beside you and hold hands all around) and prayed for the man going in for surgery soon and for the others.

As we headed toward the exit, a voice from "Control" came over the speaker, saying their was an emergency in the prison and we could not leave yet. In 10 plus years of prison ministry, this was the first time I had experienced this. I quickly but calmly sat on the edge of the small stage and began singing "Amazing Grace". The men joined in, without songbooks, singing from memory, low, adding harmony, reaching to God in this unusual moment. We sang five verses, including "Praise God" twice.

The guard had not signaled us yet that the situation was over, so I asked the men to get comfortable and said we would use the time as guided silent prayer time. I started the prayer session by asking the men to thank God for everything he had given them this day. After several minutes of quiet, I went on, leading the prayer into different areas. At one point we heard a distant voice, somewhere in the prison yelling. The prayer went on, as there was nothing else constructive to do for any of those involved in the trouble. I knew the best thing we could do was to keep the men in our room quiet and occupied.

As we prayed, the loud beep of the PA system jarred the room from silence and the voice of a guard came strongly into the room, "You can go now". We quickly gathered and vacated the room, the prisoners back to their cells, the ministry volunteers back through the heavy double lock doors into the chilly May evening. As we left, we heard the awaiting family members who were there for a visit being told that "There will be no visitations tonight - they are canceled".

What's your Ishmael ?

2005-04-29T15:31:00.000-04:00

We had a good group of 10 inmates out tonight for the discussion. One of the inmates prayed, asking God to join the group. We went around the circle, each person giving their first name and saying how they are doing.

We talked quite a bit before singing. I started by talking about my experience of taking a friend to church recently. I invited her, she agreed to go. So I showed up at her house 15 minutes before church to pick her up. She wasn't outside, so I got out of the car and knocked on the front door. No response. I knocked again, several times, loudly. I was getting frustrated. I went around to the back door and knocked there. Then, I thought about Jesus saying He stands at our door and knocks. Finally, the door opened and a sleepy teenager came to the door, saying she'd be ready in a minute. I was happy to see her. I wasn't concerned about the time or her condition, I was just glad to see her. We went to church. I keep a hair brush in the car, so she was able to straighten up a bit. Discussion question: How long do you think Jesus knocks on the door to a person's heart?

We sang several songs. The volunteer that played the piano several weeks ago was not here, so we sang without accompaniment. It doesn't matter. Signing seems to be healing in a way, as we raise our voices together to God.

Then we read a Psalm and started the lesson / discussion time. We went to Genesis 18 and read about when God made a promise to Abraham and Sarah that they would bear a son. They didn't believe Him, so Sarah suggested that Abraham have sex with her hand maid Hagar, which he did. A son was born of regular fleshly effort. Later, Sarah gives birth to the miracle child that God promised. Isaac birth was a miracle because Sarah had long passed the age of childbearing - she was post-menopausal.

I asked the group to consider and discuss what their Ismael was, meaning; "what have you accomplished on your own that is less than what God promised"? Answers included money, greed, women, addiction and the like. One man said "fear". We discussed that more.

We ended by reminding wach other that God is offering us the best there is. He stands at the door to our heart and knocks. He knows we are home. He knows our condition. He knows what promises we have not believed and tried to do on our own. He still wants us to open the door to Him and be with Him.

Let us learn to trust God's word and will for our lives.

Working with many denominations

2005-04-26T19:16:00.000-04:00

Yokefellow Prison Ministry has volunteers from many Christian denominations. Through the 10 years I've been involved, I've worked beside Presbyterian, United Methodists, Lutherans, Catholics, Seven Day Adventists, Pentecostals, Mennonites, Quakers and others.

As a Christian group, we need to work together with respect. Sometimes this is a challenge.

When I started with Yokefellow, I was in my 30's and thought I really understood the details of Christianity, or at least Protestantism, or especially Lutheranism. But I soon found out that my beliefs were not shared by everyone in our ministry team. When do you interrupt with your view of things? When do you tell someone they are flat out wrong about something?

Then, a couple of years ago, I went to a Synod Assembly for our church denomination. This is where 100 or so churches of a certain denomination get together once a year and pass resolutions to hand on to the main church gathering which happens every other year.

I noticed that pastors in our synod weren't agreeing with each other about doctrine and biblical meanings. This was a bit of a revelation to me. I thought everyone of a certain denomination agreed in doctrine. Silly me!

Our church is going through the "human sexuality" studies much like the Episcopal church went through recently. Again, I read deep, insightful commentary for both sides of the discussion from learned theologians. Hmmm. If pastors and teachers within a certain denomination can disagree on an important topic, what hope to us lay people have of knowing something "for certain".

So what to do?

We try to focus on the large, solid topics: God, Jesus, love, faith, hope, forgiveness and the like.

We don't ask people if they are "saved", because the verb "saved" means different things to different people.

I was introduced to the Yokefellow Prison Ministry by Rev. Alton Motter. He was also very involved with the Ecumenical organization of churches in our area and wrote a book called Ecumenism 101.

What Annoys you?

2005-04-15T19:34:00.000-04:00

Tonight we all sang a couple of songs, including "Amazing Grace", "Everlasting Arms", and "Trust and Obey". One of the inmates gave the prayer, asking God to join us. We then read Proverbs 21 and then Proverbs 25 verse 24. Best not to be with a nagging spouse. Which brings us to annoyances.

We went around the circle, each person giving examples of what annoys them in their lives. I gave the example of the college near our home putting a new ventilation system in a building. The new unit is very loud and raspy. It is nearly impossible to sleep when the unit is running. Certainly, a window can't be left open for fresh air. It's annoying. Each person gave a story of something that annoyed them. Many gave examples of injustice.

We went to Matthew chapter 7. Judge not. I asked everyone to consider what about ourselves might annoy God. Again, we shared our thoughts openly, speaking in turn around the circle.

One of the men had recently gotten several pictures of his children. The pictures had cheered him greatly. He asked to show the pictures around the group, we agreed. I asked the inmates to consider God being as a great father, having pictures of each of us, showing the pictures around heaven, saying something like, "these are my children, though they fall sometimes, I love them greatly".

We ended in prayer.

God wants better for us than what we realize

2005-04-10T15:13:00.000-04:00

Again, a good turnout. We also had an extra 4 volunteers along, for a total of 7 volunteers and 12 inmates. Usually it runs about 8 inmates and 2 or 3 volunteers. Currently, the extra volunteers are coming in to experience actual Yokefellow in-prison sessions. A recent training session graduated 21 new volunteers for service into Yokefellow - what a rich blessing. This is the largest graduating class in some years.

Yokefellow training includes 6 sessions which run about an hour and a half each. These sessions teach people about prison ministry and about Yokefellow prison ministry in particular. People get to meet a warden and other correction professionals. They get taught what prison volunteers can and can not do. Acceptance of other Christian denominations are encouraged, since Christians of many various denominations are encountered in jail.

The final training session is a commissioning service. Usually a local Judge will come and give a talk about the importance of prison service. Song and Prayer add to the service. Certificates of accomplishment are given out. A group graduation picture is taken.

Then, the new graduates get mentored in our operating in-prison groups. Each new volunteer is expected to attend at least 3 in-prison sessions. This helps them see Yokefellow small groups in action.

This week our topic was our desires verses God's desires. We read Proverbs chapter 2. We saw that wisdom is valued as silver.

Then I told a story. I took 2 girls to a great bike shop to buy them bikes. The bike shop was about 2 towns over and was sort of a long way from home. The girls were not familiar with the road we took, nor did they understand it was the best bike shop in the county. I figured the task would take 10 minutes, tops. Go in the store, test ride a couple of bikes, part with $450 and load them on the car rack.

But no. This bike didn't fit and that seat didn't fit and so on. Actually, one of the girls would not ride the test bike. She sat on it and rolled along using her feet, but commit to putting both feet on the pedals and parting with the safe ground. Hmmm. I thought she could ride. Her Dad and sister implied that she could. But, she wouldn't. Then her sister whispered in my ear, "If Dad were her she would ride." Hmmmm. An hour or so later, we left with no bikes.

On the way home, on a whim, I stopped at a local Kmart store. The girls were familiar with the store. Yes, the customer service replied, they had bikes. We found them in the far back of the store. The one we wanted to try had flat tires. I had trouble getting assistance. Finally a sales rep came and got a bike for us off of the high rack and after much coaxing, the girl picked up both feet (riding in the aisle) and smiled widely. I bought 2 much cheaper bikes for $240 total.

So, I keep thinking this week, why didn't the girls want the better (much better) bikes? Was it because they didn't know the store? Because it was in a distant town? Because it was our first try at shopping for bikes?

Then I thought about God. How many times do we not accept what he wants for us (for various reasons) because we want something of lesser value or worse consequences?

We all shared examples of times when we ignored God's leading and reaching for something less.

State Yokefellow Prison Ministry Board meeting

2005-04-09T20:14:00.000-04:00

Today, I went to the State Yokefellow council meeting for the first time. What a great experience to meet another 30 people or so that are dedicated and serious about this prison ministry effort. People came from all over the state. Some visit county jails, others visit state prisons, others visit federal prisons. Some oversee YPM area councils.

The meeting ran 5 hours and it could have gone on longer, if not for the travel time needed by some people to get back to their areas. We spent around 4 hours traveling to and from the meeting.

The annual state Yokefellowship Prison Ministry conference will be held at the The Country Cupboard, Lewisburg, PA, Friday, October 28th, 6:30 PM Banquet, Saturday, October 29th, in the AM.

Prayer and connecting with God

2005-04-01T09:31:00.000-05:00

March 31, 2005 - We had 12 inmates in the group which is a bit larger turnout than average. It's hard to tell why the group sizes vary so much. Are there more inmates in the jail on this given day? Is there more stress in the facility? Is there a large court schedule for the upcoming days?

I had a cold, but went to prison anyway. It's tough to know when not to go. Medical help is much different in prison than out of prison. Men can't just walk to the medicine cabinet a get an aspirin. They have to wait for a medical person to be available, then in many cases they have to pay for the pills, but don't have money to do so. But in this case, I told the inmates I had a cold and tried not to shake hands with anyone who didn't want to.

Several of the guys said they had a cold in the past 2 weeks, implying I may have picked up the cold from them anyway. Interesting, huh?

One of the inmates prayed, asking God to come and join the group. We sang a couple of songs, including Amazing Grace. We have a new volunteer that played the piano and that really added a nice sound to the songs. Then we read Psalm 42 - where the writer describes wanting God so much, comparing his desire for God to that of a thirsty deer in a dry land.

We talked about what it is that each of us wants, really wants, in our lives right now.

Our main bible verse was Matthew chapter 6 - praying in your private place. I described how recently several people important to me have been wearing headphones or earphones while being with me and how I don't care for the practice because it cheapens the quality of the time they spend with me. Whether listing to books, music or a baseball game, it means they are not listening intently to me and our conversation.

We talked quite a bit about this practice and how we felt about it and if we were guilty of doing it. Then I asked the group about their typical prayer practices. Do they do anything else while trying to connect with God?

Thursday before Easter 2005

2005-03-25T08:31:00.000-05:00

We had a larger than average group of inmates tonight, plenty of new names to learn.

Many of the men had taken communion sometime this week, as part of the Easter holy week. They reported that the experience was a real blessing to them.

We went around the circle and each person gave their name and said how they were doing. We sang Amazing Grace and Rock of Ages. The many voices blended together sounded very good.

One inmate asked a question about salvation - once a person is saved, is it possible to lose their salvation? I first explained that this is a good, but complicated question. Pastors and theologians debate this level of question. It's OK for our group to discuss the question, but for everyone to realize that what we are giving is our individual OPINIONS. Having said that, we went around the group and asked each person what their thoughts on the question were. In the Yokefellow group, a person can always say "PASS" if they would rather not discuss something. We only had one pass on this question. After the group gave their thoughts, I gave my opinion, making sure everyone understood it was my opinion, not certainty. This provided a really good discussion.

I make it clear to the inmates that my husband and I are not pastors. It's OK to encourage and direct a person to ask the prison chaplain or their own pastor a question.

Then we read Psalm 91 - a psalm of protection.

Then we read Exodus Chapter 12 and discussed what Passover is and how it points to Christ as our redeemer.

Leading up to Ressurection Sunday

2005-03-12T08:05:00.000-05:00

March 10, 2005 - We had some new attendees this week which was nice. We've been discussing the "narrow gate" and the touch choices that are presented when a person is moving from serving themselves to serving God.

We read Luke 23 - which tells of the cruxifiction of Jesus. We spent time discussing the 2 other fellows being executed with Jesus and their individual attitudes. 2 people in the same situation, yet worlds apart in so many other ways. One recognizes the hope of Christ and asked for mercy and receives it. Let this be our guide.

We finished by looking at the phrase spoke by Jesus "Father forgive them for they know not what they do." Who do we need to forgive? On what grounds do we forgive them?

I asked the group to read this chapter in preparation for Holy Week. The Thursday before Easter is one of the few times during the year that protestant inmates are given the opportunity to take communion. I encouraged the group to take the preparation class and participate in this sacrament. I would like to see communion offered more often in prison, since it can have such a positive effect on the men.

The Narrow Gate, and Forgiveness

2005-03-04T07:18:00.000-05:00

March 3, 2005 - One of the inmates offered prayer, asking God to come and join the group. We went around the circle, each person giving their first name, and saying how they were doing.

Usually I start this part by asking the person on my left to begin, stating their name and comments, then moving around the group clockwise. Tonight, since a new person (a first timer to the group) was on my left, I started on my right hand side. I mention this because the group of regulars noticed the change but didn't know why I was doing it a different way.

Finally, near the end of this part, someone brought up the change - I explained that out of courtesy of the first timer, I didn't want to start with him, I wanted him to see how others gave their name and comments first, so he would be more at ease. The group found this interesting and joked around about how the new guys should always sit on my left side, etc.

This points out something interesting. Tradition and ritual (doing things a certain way over and over) may add some stability to a group. Some added sense of comfort of knowing what comes next and why. The Youth and Family Institute in Minnesota do research into family faith formation and have published the concept of the "Four Keys" to building family faith in the home. One of the keys is Traditions and Rituals. The other three are: Caring Conversation, Service, and Daily Devotions. It was interesting to me after attending 2 workshops from YFI, to see how the Yokefellow Prison Ministry groups actually include all 4 of the keys.

We sang the song "I have decided to Follow Jesus". The words of the song came up for discussion later in the lesson.

We read Proverbs Chapter 11 around the group, a sentence at a time, each person getting a chance to read. This helps build the group.

I asked the guys what we talked about last week. No one remembered except the other Yokefellow volunteer. So we refreshed on the "Narrow Gate" a bit.

We went to Matthew Chapter 7 again, reading verse 23 - 25 this time. I asked if this verse means that if we are holding a grudge against someone, does it mean that God doesn't listen to our prayers and supplications? This is a tough question.

I asked the group to recite the Lord's Prayer together slowly. We stopped at the part:
"And forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those who trespass against us" (emphasis is mine). We talked about what we thought this means. We talked about how very difficult it is to forgive people, and how our tendency is to want God to hear our prayers even though we are angry and unforgiving to other people. Obviously, this is a real challenge in prison.

So we talked about the small gate again. Ah, now it makes a bit more sense. It's one thing to call yourself a Christian. It may be another thing to actually follow Jesus in the path of forgiveness.

Maybe next week, God willing, we'll look at Jesus on the cross, praying to his Father to forgive his killers.

The Narrow Gate

2005-02-24T22:00:00.000-05:00

I've been reading "Hard to Believe" by John MacArthur at home. The book makes some interesting points. So this night I led the group to discuss the Narrow Gate as noted in Matthew chapter 7.

This discussion relates to where Jesus talks about the vine bearing fruit.

We talked about what it means to follow Christ, to give up one's self to serve God and his fellow man. What do these words mean in our lives? Are they just words and ideas or do they somehow find their way to our actions and major decisions?

Being Yoked and Enthusiasm

2005-02-10T22:30:00.000-05:00

Tonight we had a bunch of regular attendees, plus a return inmate we'll call "Burt" (not his real name). "Burt" had been a group member last year, then got out of jail for 3 months and is now back in jail. He talked about how he felt, having gotten back into alcohol and trouble so quickly, and how he had sent God out of his life once he got released from prison.

Having prisoners return to jail is a difficult part of prison ministry. It can bring a sense of failure for both the inmate and the volunteers. Of course, both groups hope that an ex-con stays close to God and obeys the law upon their return to society and freedom.

We read a chapter from the book of Proverbs. I explained that many people read a proverb a day for every day of their lives. There are 30 chapters of Proverbs, so it's easy to get a system going to read the whole book of Proverbs each month.

Then, we went to Matthew 11 verse 28

We talked about how one person can or cannot influence another person, for good or bad. We all give opinions and ideas. I raised the idea of a skin rash, how it can be spread around (or a cold), to show that we do indeed have the ability to influence other people. I asked the group to think about who they have been "Yoked" to in their lives.

I used my husband and I as an example of a good match. We both benefit from our marriage and relationship. We talked about good yokes and bad yokes. We talked about the importance of being connected or "yoked" with other believers for the good and bad times in life. In this town, there is an Aftercare group that meets once a week.

Wouldn't it be great if each inmate who wanted it was "yoked" to or adopted by a church so that when they were released members of the church would help the ex-con stay well and on track with God and the community?

Love (1 Cor. 13) again - Charity and Love

2005-02-04T15:54:00.000-05:00

So, last week's homework was for everyone to read 1 Cor. chapter 13 everyday. No one did it.
It's hard to encourage homework but I think it's still worth trying.

Anyway, we compared the King James Version and the New International Version of the scripture passage. The KJV features the word "Charity" while the NIV uses the word "Love". I believe the original Greek word used was "agape".

We read some definitions and comments from bibles that people had there in the group. Each person gave their thoughts about what "love" is and what "charity" is and what the differences are.

Towards the end, I pointed out that one of the definitions included the idea of reaching down to help someone with less money or strength that yourself. This is what we use the word "charity" for today.

Then I said how far God reaches down to us, from his great power and strength down to our tiny existence. Yet, he reaches to us. It is with this picture we can reach to our brother and love him.

One of our regular attendees accepted a plea bargin for 6 years in federal prison. He is in his mid-twenties now. The group talked quite a bit about this. I asked him to spend a moment each day praying for Yokefellow Prison Ministries. We encouraged him to continue his studies and learn a trade if possible. I didn't know what else to say.

We've had numerous guys get sentences of 5+ years. But it often seems hard to accept. Society tends to forget the incarcerated. But you can't forget someone who you've seen every week for 6 months. Jesus doesn't forget us.

Love - I Cor. 13

2005-01-30T18:36:00.000-05:00

2 of our regular inmates had gotten in trouble during the week. With each other. For a volunteer, this can be depressing. What to do? No choice really, talk about the situation if the parties involved want to. Try to separate the men involved in the seating sequence so that an actual fight doesn't break out. Since you weren't at the place were the fight took place, you can't make any judgment about who caused the fight. Nor should you be a judge either, that's not what you're there for.

Remember that you can't solve all the inmates problems. Don't get into the trap of thinking that if a person behaved like you, they'd be "well" or "cured". Your job is to be faithful in showing up at the Yokefellow sessions, and pointing people gently to see Jesus. It's that simple.

So, we talked about Love. We read 1 Corinthians chapter 13. I asked the men to read the passage each day in the coming week as homework.

I was interested to see that the King James translation has the key word in the chapter as Charity, instead of Love.

I expect we will discuss this difference in the coming session.

Battle and Surrender

2005-01-13T22:41:00.000-05:00

January 13, 2005 - We sang a couple of sings, including the Battle hymn of the Republic. We then read Psalm 46 in memory of the south east Asia tsunami victims. We had a good discussion about where God is during acts of nature like earthquakes and floods and about how often the catastrophy in lives is personal, not widespread and obvious like a tornado. When a single person suffers, like from addiction, is it not as terrible when a person is swept away in a flood?

We then talked about spiritual battle, the reality that there is a spiritual war going on for the future of people and their souls. We talked about always being aware of the battle. Then we talked about understanding how God is able to deliver us from evil and how we should remember that the battle belongs to God and we should have faith (not fear) in him to deliver us.

Sickness in Serving

2005-01-06T19:38:00.000-05:00

Jan. 6, 2005 - I was ill with a chest cold, so we had another member of the team fill in. It's important to have enough volunteers available so that when something comes up, the session still takes place. Faithfulness is important.

New Years Resolutions considerations

2004-12-30T22:03:00.000-05:00

This was our last session before the New Year of 2005. So, we discussed what, if any, New Years resolutions people are considering.

I shared that my resolution is the same as it has been the last several years, to lose weight. I mentioned all the equipment and tapes I've bought through the years, and the guys gave their suggestions on how and what I should do to get better results. I often do this (use something in my life as an example). It helps the guys open up. I find it seems to be easier to give someone else advice than it is to think of advice for yourself.

So, we talked about what it's like to want to change something about your life, and how hard it is to change. Then, we went around the room and everyone said what, if any, their thoughts of change for the New Year were. We discussed obstacles to making major changes.

Then we looked up Luke chapter 10 Luke 10:26-28 in the New Testament. Jesus agrees with a teacher about what is important in life. Also see Old Testament reference in Deuteronomy 10:12.

We discussed what we thought God wanted us to concentrate on in the coming Year; Love Him with all our heart, mind and soul and to love each other as ourselves.

Bridge

2004-12-30T08:06:00.000-05:00

When considering what picture to place on this page, I decided on this bridge. I feel it is symbolic of the movement in our lives from one place or stage, to another - hopefully more mature and more faithful and loving.

What kind of host are you? (Christmas)

2004-12-23T22:01:00.000-05:00

We had a good turnout of regular attendees tonight. Often in a county jail, people join and leave the group on a regular basis. We've had about 7 inmates attend on a weekly basis which is nice because you get to know the people and tailor the lessons a bit to where you think the people are in their spiritual walk.

Since it's near the end of the year, we talked a bit about what the inmates thought Yokefellow Prison Ministry should concentrate on for the new year. Although the local council had meet and had a retreat to discern a path for the new year, it was good to ask the guys for their input too.

I handed out the yellow Yokefellow cards to our group. I had an opportunity to talk with the prison chaplain previously this week, and gained permission to hand out the cards. The cards list the disciplines important to the Yokefellow movement including:

Daily Prayer
Daily Scripture reading
Weekly Worship
Giving of Money to Christian causes
Offering the service of time to others
Witnessing in life, work and words to others
Study of the Christian books to aid in spiritual growth

Lesson: I shared with the group how a past visit to a friend had gone. The friend and his family were playing video games. They did not stop playing the games when I came to visit, even though the games have a "pause" button. I asked if that had ever happened to them or if they had every treated anyone like that. It was a good discussion.

Then I shared that a recent visit to the same household went very differently. The family had gotten a computer game that they wanted to play very much. Their computer would not play the game and they asked for my help since I work with computers. I spent about 3 hours working on the problem, eventually installing a new video card. But during this visit the family reacted much differently. They stopped what they were doing and gave me their attention. They offered me drinks and cookies. They welcomed me.

We went around the group and discussed this difference in attitude. We shared times when we had treated people (visitors) rudely and times we had welcomed guests.

Near the end of the session, I brought the themes together. At Christmas time we remember God coming to visit mankind in the person of Jesus. The book of John says that God pitched a tent in human flesh. God came to dwell among us. How did the world react? Few even noticed. Even fewer welcomed him in to their lives.

At Christmas let us consider how we welcome or turn away God every day. Do we use the "pause" button and give him our focused attention? Or are we a good host, offering food and drink, and our time?

What is your foundation built on?

2004-12-16T10:00:00.000-05:00

It's about a week before Christmas. I thought we were going to have a small group, because only 4 inmates came to the session at first. Then another 4 guys came in late from another block. Then later another guy came in after his visit, so we had 9 inmates which is a good sized group.
Point: God brings the people to the session. Whether it is one person or twenty people, it is God's session, not mine.

We sang Christmas carols tonight. We were going to stop at three songs, but the inmates really wanted to sing 'Amazing Grace", so we did. As the fifth verse of the song, we sing "Praise God" as the text, repeating it throughout the melody.

Then we read Psalm 37. The "Fret Not" Psalm.

Our lesson scripture tonight was Matthew chapter 7. We spend a lot of time there. It starts with Judge not, lest you be judged. You can really spend a whole session on that verse. But we went on to verse 37 - the part about the 2 builders.

Why did Jesus have to die?

2004-12-09T15:35:00.000-05:00

Tonight we had a good discussion session. We sang "How Great Thou Art", read Psalm 103, and then one of the guys asked a good question. He asked why Jesus had to die to save us? He was suggesting that perhaps God could have come up with a different plan and thus would have spared Jesus.

The group discussion went well. In a Yokefellow session all opinions are welcome. Although a leader guides the discussion, the leader does not need to answer all questions. Sometimes the correct answer is "What do you all think?"

This is sometimes hard to do. I tend to want to answer a question when it is asked directly to me. It's important to remember that we want the inmates to think about these issues a bit and formulate in their minds why a thing is so.

Change > Forgiveness > Serving > Whose your Daddy?

2004-12-03T08:16:00.000-05:00

Session Date: November 2, 2004
Topic: Change and Serving

I was thinking we were going to continue discussing what it takes to change. When we got in group one of the guys was struggling with forgiving someone, so we turned and discussed that.

that's one of the good things about Yokefellow sessions - discussion topics can change depending on the needs of the group. I remember a woman from a different county jail telling me years ago that that was one of the things she really like about the Yokefellow volunteers. "We can ask you guys questions and talk about things." She said other bible study leaders came in with strict agendas and did not welcome questions or discussion.

So we turned and talked about forgiveness. What was the circumstance? What advice did the others have for the one inmate that brought up the issue?

We discussed why we should forgive people. I presented that I forgive people because of Jesus. Not because someone deserves it (that would make me a judge), or because they are nice, or I am nice, but because of the awesome sacrifice of Christ.

We got out our bibles and read John 13 (Jesus washes the disciples feet) and discussed what that meant for the disciples and for us today.

This took us to a discussion of "Who is your master?" If Jesus is our master, and he forgives us, and tells us to forgive others, isn't that pretty clear? Perhaps if we are not forgiving, we have not recognized Jesus in the situation.

Discussion questions: What advice do you have for someone who is struggling to forgive someone? On what reason do you forgive? Who are you serving?

Thanksgiving 2004

2004-11-26T18:31:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving, November 25, 2004
Topic: Change
Scripture: John 15 (Vine and Branches, Love God, Love each Other), Luke 10 (parable of the good samaritan)

Going into jail on Thanksgiving is interesting. The guys (inmates) are usually surprised that the Yokefellow volunteers still come to prison when the session night falls on a Holiday. But I think that it's especially important to maintain a regular, weekly schedule with the small group sessions.

This sort of showed in the song request. One guy wanted to sing "America the Beautiful". So we sang it together. There are a handful of patriotic songs in the donated hymnals in the room.

We had a small turnout for the session. Some of our regulars have been released or transferred recently. This happens often with county jails. State and Federal prisons have people with longer sentences, so Yokefellow groups there tend to have the same participants longer.

Then, part way through the session a few of the guys got called out for visits, which gave us an even smaller group. Numbers of participants is not as important to me as it was when I was just starting out. I trust that God knows who to bring to each session.

Usually I have a topic I intend to use for small group discussion before I go into the jail. Tonight I did not. I trusted a topic would come up, and it did: Change.

The topic of change is a fascinating one. What does it take to change? Whether a person wants to stop using drugs and alcohol, quit smoking, lose weight or lead a more contemplative life, what does it take to change?

Many of the inmates we meet express a desire to change for the better. The obstacles are many. Old friends, towns, habits are in the way. Temptation is present.

Too many times we've had a Yokefellow group participant that seemed to be doing well in the group, caring for others, increasing their bible reading, prayer and meditation. And then a week comes when they don't show up. Word comes that they are in isolation or SMU as a result of getting a "write-up" by the guards for being disobedient, an angry outburst or an attack on another person.

Discussion questions: What would you like to change in your life? What steps are you taking to change? What plans do you have for continuing the change once you are released from prison? Why do you think it is hard to change?

Miscellaneous discussion topics or questions

2004-11-24T18:42:00.000-05:00

This is a posting of discussion topics I've heard while in small Yokefellow groups.

Scripture: Prodigal Son, Questions: Has anyone ever given you a second chance? Has God? Describe.
If you could interview anyone, living or dead, who would it be? What questions would you ask? (I heard this one topic take up a whole session very nicely)
Explain PH, how there is acid and alkaline PH levels. Sour and Sweet. Questions: What PH are you (figuratively speaking), why? What PH do you want to be?
God chooses David. Scripture: 1 Samuel 16 - Questions: Do you think David's brothers liked him? Did your brothers / sisters like you? How do you think the brothers felt when they were not chosen? How do you think David felt when he was chosen and blessed? Have you ever been blessed by a pastor? God sees our inside. He sees our hearts and hears our prayers. God knows what potential lies inside us. God might be choosing you for a special job.
Scripture: Judges 6 and 7, story of Gideon. Did God allow Gideon to grow in Faith with small tasks? How has God trained you? Gideon took on a battle against incredible odds. God gave him the victory. What challenges are you facing? Do you think God will help you? Will a victory bring glory to God?

Consecration (continued - part 4)

2004-11-18T21:35:00.000-05:00

Scripture: John 15 (Vine and Branches)

We're usually in a large multipurpose room. We were in the prison library tonight. We had enough room for the guys that showed up, but it would have been too small for some of our discussion sessions. There was a table which we gathered our chairs around. Usually we don't have a table, we form a circle with our chairs. In the early days, I spoke from a podium. That's long over! Now, I see that it is so important for everyone to be on the same level for a good discussion.

Since we were in the library, the inmates looked in the book case for some bibles. They came up with a big old beautiful Strong's exhaustive concordance. We proceeded to have a short side lesson on what a concordance is (a large index of all the words used in the bible along with Greek and Hebrew dictionaries and references to all words to the dictionaries.) Most guys had never used a concordance and it was a good 5 minutes of discovering something new for them.

This is a good insight to a good small group discussion session. Our guys like to learn new things. I think most people do, it may be a human trait. Hearing the same old thing every week doesn't work, doesn't draw people into the discussion. But learning something new, together, in an unthreatening way, works well. Perhaps it's because everyone is on equal ground since it's a new subject?

We've been talking about how our lives become fruit for God as we walk in faith. We become kinder, more forgiving, more loving, more forgiving. Tonight we talked about what traits we got from our parents. Good and bad ones. Then we talked about children. What traits have our children picked up from us? Good and bad ones. Why?

Then I wrapped up the session by saying the more time we spend with God, our Father, the more we will pick up His traits of forgiveness and mercy and love and honesty and so on. Let us be children of God and grow in his likeness as we walk in the faith of his son Jesus.

Discussions: What traits do you have that your parents had? What traits are your children picking up from you? Is God our Father? What traits does he have? How can we pick up these traits?

Consecration (continued week 3)

2004-11-17T06:23:00.000-05:00

Topic: Consecration
November 11, 2004.

We continued on the theme of consecration. I don't think we used that word, but that's what the theme is. Sometimes using religious terms turns people off, so we use simpler terms. In this county jail the average education level is ninth grade.

Communication in this setting means using terms that are understood without much explanation.

We read Psalm 22. Each person around the discussion circle read a verse. Then we discussed difficult words and terms and shared our thoughts on what the Psalm says to us today. Recently we've been working on memorizing some Psalms (23 and 24 so far), which as turned out well.

Next, I took a risk.. I gave the other 2 volunteers a heads up about this before I did it (outside, before we went in to the jail). I told the inmates that I was pregnant. I left them think this for less than a minute, during which the conversation included talk about how a baby would limit our prison visits. Then, I admitted to the guys that I had lied, and that I wasn't pregnant. The point was, that saying something does make it true. Sooner or later (in this case, several months) the truth becomes known.

This is true in our lives, too. Sooner or later our "fruit" becomes obvious to others. Are we growing to be more loving or are we remaining grumpy old snappy people.

Scriptures:
Isaiah 58. (True Fasting)

John 15:5"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.

Saying we are Christian does not mean it is so. Where is the fruit of the relationship with Jesus?

Consecration (continued - part 2)

2004-11-17T06:22:00.000-05:00

Scripture
Luke 13:6 - the fig tree that did not bear fruit

Discussion Points:
What would you do to the fig tree if you were the landowner in this story?
Are you bearing fruit now? What kind of fruit? How long until you think you will bear fruit?

Consecration (part 1)

2004-11-17T06:19:00.000-05:00

Scripture: John 15:4 - Jesus talkes about the Vine and branches.

Last week as we walked out of the prison, I heard one of our regular attendees talking rough to a woman in the visiting area - through the glass and using the telephone connection.

It hit me that we needed to talk about consecration, how knowing and loving God affects your life and comes out in visible ways.

So this week we read and discussed John chapter 15 and talked about how, if we're connected to God, our fruit will resemble the parent plant.

Discussion points:
Are you connected to another source? What? What happens to a branch that is disconnected from the main vine? How do you know if you are connected to the source? How can you get connected? If you are not connected to God, what might you be connected to?

What a Yokefellow session is.

2004-11-17T06:18:00.000-05:00

The Yokefellow sessions we lead are 90 minutes long. There is one session per week at the prison we go to.

Our understanding of small groups has developed since 1994 when we first went into a Federal prison with a Yokefellow group from our church. At first, my husband and I treated the 90 minutes more like a bible study. But now we understand it a bit better.

Here's an outline of our sessions:

Gathering - we (volunteers) come early, set up several chairs, get our bibles and song books and spend a bit of time in prayer before the inmates show up.

Greeting - we welcome the men as they some into the room, calling as many by their first name as we can remember from previous sessions. The men get their bibles and songbooks and pull up chairs and form a circle. Everyone is on the same level.

Beginning prayer - Someone will pray and ask God to join the group. Sometimes my husband gives the prayer, sometimes one of the inmates will give the prayer.

Introductions - we go around the room, in order, and everyone gives their first name and says how they are doing. This allows for a broad response. Often the answer is "I'm doing OK" or "I thank God for waking me up this morning." while sometimes the answer has to do with recent legal proceedings or family news. The Yokefellow volunteers also introduce themselves.

Song - We offer to lead the group in song. This is optional. Most sessions we do sing several songs. The favorites are Amazing Grace, Blessed Assurance, Jesus Loves Me and Leaning on the Everlasting Arms.

Psalm reading - We read a selection from the book of Psalms. We all take a turn reading a verse or a sentence of the Psalm. We stop for difficult words and talk about their meaning and their use in the Psalm. We point out key themes of the Psalm. We ask the inmates if they have ever felt the way the Psalm writer is describing (example: "Have you ever felt as though you were walking through the valley of the shadow of death?").

Recently we've been encouraging the guys to try to memorize some Psalms. Then during sessions we allow time for the fellows who want to recite them to do so. Imagine waiting for 4 hours in a holding room at the court house, waiting for your court session, having nothing to read or do. Recite comforting Psalms from memory can make a real difference in attitude for walking in the court room when the call finally comes. Or, it can help when you get told you're going back to prison and your session has been rescheduled and you won't be seeing the judge today.

Bible reading - Next, we read the scripture that is the basis for the lesson. Many times it's a parable. We've taught on Adam and Eve, Moses, Abraham, Jacob, Joseph, Gideon, David and other Old Testament favorites. Jesus and grace are obviously top topics. We take turns (going around the room in order) reading the scripture. Sometimes we re-read sections over. We talk about what the verses mean, what they meant then, what they mean now, what they mean to us today.

Discussion - I try to ask questions that help make the men think things through. Often I'll tell a story from my life and then ask questions like "what should I do?, what would you do?" Then. I'll turn the situation around and the guys can see that they have a similar situation and option for faith.

It's important to understand how important this discussion part is. Everyone's voice is welcome. Everyone's opinion is valued. Of course, we need to maintain order and respect. That's the leader's job to quiet the group down when they get out of order, but still welcome good thoughtful discussion. It's through discussion that we can share, bond and learn from each other.
Sometimes, during a session, an older inmate will give a young inmate some advice. Like, "Don't be like me kid, when you get out, stay clean and don't throw your life away like I have". This advice, given by an inmate is worth a million words given by me, a middle class white lady.

Yokefellow circle - To end the session, we stand, join hands (hand over hand usually) and offer prayer. Sometimes my husband offers prayer on behalf of the whole group. Sometimes we go around the group and take turns praying.

Sometimes I'll give the inmates homework, like a chapter of Bible to read to prepare for next week's session.

Starting Out

2004-11-17T06:17:00.000-05:00

Welcome. This blog will be primarily for posting discussion topics well suited for small Christian discussion groups, especially suited for Yokefellow Prison Ministry Groups.

My husband, Lou, and I have been active in Yokefellow Prison Ministry since 1994. From this experience I'm an advocate of small discussion groups. It's amazing to experience growth in myself and see similar growth in others.

I welcome your comments. Feel free to share your small group topics, too.
- Kathy